12/3/06

K15 Superdome

(1978, Drama-Crime/Television/Sports, color)

Made-for-TV hipness.

Rating: Zero Stars

Summary:

It claims to be a sports movie, but it’s actually a run-of-the-mill television crime drama that forgoes the usual bank heist to concentrate on an implausible attempt to fix the Superbowl. Includes a handful of football players, about twice that many graying, jowled men, and a large number of ornamental women. Contains no natural colors, flavors, emotions, or dialogue. Among the other things this film does not contain: football.

Thoughts:

Mr. Selleck is never even required to PRETEND that he plays football. Superdome is one hundred percent seventies television camp. So was SST: Death Flight, but at least that movie cranked up its separate melodramas and pointed them all in the same direction. This movie bursts into tears occasionally, but mostly it’s dull, dull, dull; so much so that at one point, Joel says, “I can’t say anything funny about this. I’m completely at a loss.” Later, Crow says, “This turned out to be a real yawn-fest,” to which Tom replies, “Are you telling the audience at home? Because they all tuned away from us ages ago.” Most of the host segments focus on Tom sitting at his typewriter, flashing back to prior host segments, a trick they’ll repeat in Episode 209. One flashback, however, seems to be made for this episode in particular. In it, an unusually surly, chain-smoking version of Joel chews out the ‘Bots for their lax self-maintenance. “I’m not usually like this; it’s just Servo’s perception of me,” he says.