701TD Night of the Blood Beast

(1958, SciFi, b&w), with:

Once Upon a Honeymoon
(1956, Educational-Industrial/Musical, color)

This has “Steve” written all over it.

Rating: ***1/2

In a nutshell:

Short: A goofy angel saves a struggling songwriter’s honeymoon.
Film: An extraterrestrial parrot monster impregnates an astronaut with alien brine shrimp.


(See the regular episode review for the plot summary.)


Thanksgiving revelers continue to revel.On Thanksgiving Day, Mike and the ‘Bots gather to talk enthusiastically about the big game. They mix their terminology, so it’s impossible to tell which sport they are discussing.

Host Segment One:

Pearl Forrester arrives for Thanksgiving dinner in Deep 13. Also attending are the Kitten with a Whip, Pitch the Devil, Mr. B Natural, and his/her significant other Jack Perkins. Pearl chats with her son until Kitten interrupts to tell them about his vomit. Dr. Forrester has lost the movie, so Pearl digs one out of her purse.

Host Segment Two:

Mike asks Tom and Crow which they would prefer with their turkey, potatoes or stuffing? The ‘Bots have prepared a little sketch detailing the various evils of potatoes (such as the spreading of typhus and gonorrhea) and ends with Tom dressed as stuffing. “Eat me!” he commands. Mike decides he’ll make both.

Host Segment Three:

Pearl recognizes “Art” (Crow) up on the Satellite of Love and complains about her son to him. Quoth Crow, “Kill him. That’s what I’d do.” Pearl thanks him for his kind suggestion, but says she has to stand by her son, no matter how much of a loser he’s turned out to be.

Host Segment Four:

Crow has joined the Deep 13 dinner (via Umbilicus, I assume) and Pearl instructs, “Let’s each give a little thanks to God. No offense, Satan.” “None taken,” Pitch replies. They all give thanks in character.

Host Segment Five:

Mike asks Tom and Crow if they want mincemeat pie or pumpkin pie. Crow decries meatlessness of mincemeat pie while Tom shows up in a pie costume and cries, “I am mincemeat and I am visited upon you!” Down in Deep 13, most of the guests have fallen victim to Pearl’s “Turkey Surprise” (turkey baked at very low temperature and then rubbed with raw turtle). The only survivor, aside from the Forresters, is Jack Perkins. Jack gives an amiable speech about giving thanks in general while Dr. Forrester prepares to kill him.


Quoth Dr. Wyman, “A wounded animal that large isn’t good.”


Mr. B is snared in the web of Jack Perkins' revels.(For commentary on the film, and Best Brains’ treatment of it, please see the regular episode review.)

This version of Episode 701 originally aired as a Thanksgiving special in 1995. It was only shown twice, which is a little odd when you consider that it contains a momentous event in the show’s continuity—Pearl Forrester’s arrival in Deep 13. Sure she’s been there before (in Episode 607) but only as a guest. This time she won’t go away until the very end.

Not that that’s a bad thing. You know, in case she reads this or something.

To tell you the truth, Pearl gives me the willies. She’s got a whole different brand of evil goin’ on. Not Frank’s endearing, incompetent evil, or Dr. Forrester’s bizarre and easily sidetracked evil. Those guys were evil, sure, but they never really posed a threat to the world as a whole. Just give them their evil little toys and stick them in their evil little corner and they play nicely, or not so nicely, by themselves. Pearl’s not like that. She’s got the bad movie in her purse, just in case. She’s got the Turkey Surprise handy to clean up the guests. Pearl gets results. Even after the writers tone her down in later seasons, she’ll be far more competent than her erratic son ever was.