9/22/08

My Big Fat American Apocalypse

The Statue of Liberty, buried up to the eyeballs in my hangnail.Welcome, won't you?

I had a hangnail the other day. I pulled out a pair of nail clippers and clipped it off. End of story.

In Roland Emmerich's version, however, my hangnail grows and grows until it fills all of Northern California with its bulk, suffocating innocent women and children until someone finally yanks it free from my finger. The resulting wound drowns everyone from the coast to the Rockies in blood. (Needless to say, I perish horribly.) Meanwhile, in New York, a timid teenager I've never met struggles to confess his true feelings to a girl he likes.

Which is not to say that global warming is as trivial as a hangnail. Far from it. It's just not going to annihilate the world as we know it in less than a week.

Anyway, my review of Emmerich's The Day After Tomorrow has been posted.